Loving Herself More – A common story of women in love
Power, love, sex, and the healing between the masculine and the feminine – this article shares one example of how it plays out into relationships between men and women. Romantic relationship is at a point in its evolution through us, that is creating a huge divide between men and women. It is a divide that is an essential step in our growth together, and I warmly welcome its healing transformative power into our world.
Since 2015 I have counseled numerous women and men about their relationships, and have seen a very clear pattern that is present and undeniable. As there is great healing and development needed and happening from both sides, I am going to illustrate a point of view here from the woman’s perspective and experience. I am finding this to be relevant, mainly for women and men who are in their 40’s and older.
Women in love with men, are more and more, are standing strong in their intolerance to abusive, oppressive, disconnected behavior from their partner. As women grow in their strength, men are struggling as the conditioned level of comfort they are familiar with is crumbling.
Mens hearts are breaking, as the ways they know to be right and real are confining them to an island, alone, that is floating off into the ocean, farther and farther away from the ones they love and from what their hearts truly desire.
Women are wanting to hang on, to keep connected, keep in reach of the men they love – be it a father, a lover, a brother, a friend. But for the woman to really own her power and her truth, she is forced to let him go, as she cannot do his work for him.
She can guide, she can support, she can love so deeply and compassionately, she can hold space, however she cannot support him by sacrificing herself, her worth, her life, to keep him comfortable in his ways of being that are destructive beyond a level he can even comprehend.
For him to be able to understand, he would have to humble himself, tap into his vulnerability, and see himself, feel himself, feel his own pain, wallow in it, die to it, and let it guide him to his own liberation, which is patiently waiting, secretly begging, to love and nourish him in a quality of self-love greater than he has ever known.
Woman asks herself – what can I do? How can I help? The answer is that there is nothing to do but be still, as the gate keeper, and be available for the man who is ready to meet himself through her reflection.
He must do his own work in showing up, in some way, to say help me, I need guidance, I have no idea how to help myself, and I am ready to surrender to a wisdom greater than what I already know.
Praying, waiting, praying, waiting……moving on…..
As we so often see on the healing path, there tends to be a point we hit on our journey of maximum discomfort, as the previous outer shell of our reality no longer suits us.
We feel a pressure and tension in our process of shedding it from us, so we may begin to create a new shell around us that is more fitting for our new form. Many creatures in nature also experience this very thing – it seems to be a natural part of how we, Earth’s creatures, move through life’s transitions.
I see a beauty in this current pattern men and women are in. This is a new opportunity for each to rise up and claim their power and come together in a way that is most serving and nourishing to both. It is wonderful to me, even through all the pain, that we are in such a time of radical evolution in relationships between men and women.
It is cultivating the Garden of our Hearts, preparing them for new seeds to be sowed, and the future of abundant prosperous authentic love to grow. The breakdown is necessary for a rebirth to take root, and this new force of love coming though is requiring much more space within the temple of the heart to reside, than its previous allotted quarters.
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