Examining needs, reflecting on what seems to be needed from the external, and redirecting it to the inner world so one can cultivate the solution to the need from within, taking full responsibility to own the need, and in doing so, allowing it to fulfill its purpose (knowledge of self). Liberating the external subject (whether person, place, thing, situation) from the projection onto it, as being the source of needs getting filled, or the source of happiness.
Also, there’s examining the truth behind a feeling of need – is it really a need, or is it an attachment to an idea mistaken as a need? Is there some way that the feeling (and attachment) of a need holds us back, limits us in some way?
Review the needs that are on the surface of awareness at this time, perhaps look to any areas of conflict or where a feeling of lack is being experienced, and follow the emotion to it’s root within, to help point to what the clear needs are. What is at the core of the feelings there? What is really wanted and needed (i.e. how do you want to feel, and how would this need being filled be helpful)?
Is there an external subject capable of supporting this need being filled for you? If so, then you know it is aligned to continue the connection, knowing that you can lean on this subject for support in your process of you getting your own need filled. If not, then you can choose whether to continue the connection, and if so, you can let go of your attachments to the subject being a support of fulfillment of your needs (liberating both you and the subject), and redirect the projection of a solution to go within. Practice generating the feelings on your own to give support to yourself in the ways that the need is highlighting for you at this time.
Are you aware that you are capable of producing any feeling on demand? Yes, you are. We choose, moment to moment, how we feel – shaped the the perception we are viewing through. We are that powerful and do have that much control. In fact, it is really the only thing in life we have control over, since anything in our external experience can shift or disappear in an instant. Now that said, the degree which one can wield this power of control will vary from person to person, based on a number of things which can all be summed up by the term – personal power.
Tapping into the power of generating one’s own feelings is not about trying to negate feelings one may have that don’t feel good in some way – to simply jump over them, in a sense, and just adopt other ways to feel, and bypassing the challenging feeling, along with it’s information it is trying to show you about yourself. There is a fine line between investigating a challenging feeling and indulging in it.
A brief note on personal power here, since that is another topic all in it’s own, is that we are all born with an amount of personal power and have the ability to develop, refine, and grow our storehouse of power within ourselves and our lives, through conscious effort day to day, moment to moment, through our choices of thought, feeling, words, and actions. By refining our choices, we strengthen our ability to choose.
Ultimately in any case, whether an external subject is capable of supporting our needs or not, it is the self who is the responsible agent for needs being met. It is an inside job that will be reflected in the outer realm of experience once the vibration of that desire is a living experience that can be an anchor for it’s external expression to manifest.
What happens to our relationship with the other, the subjects of our external awareness, when we let go of our attachments to them being the source of our needs being fulfilled? What happens when we redirect our attention to go within, dig up the dirt to uncover the truth of what our needs and desires are, plant the seeds of support in place, and tend the inner garden for them to grow?
Whether or not this inner work even manifests in the outer experience in the ways we hope them to, it is the feeling of that need being met from within that will create the foundation necessary for living an empowered life, and reaping the harvest of our dedication to our inner landscape, from a felt experience.
It is an illusion that an external subject is the source of our happiness and well being. It is an illusion that an external subject is responsible for fulfilling our needs and desires. To live a life of wellness, joy, fulfillment, purpose, creativity, adventure, play, prosperity, depth, beauty, connection, wisdom, inspiration, and grace, we must create a solid container of awareness and being for this energy to channel through.
Seeking fulfillment of desires and needs through the external creates leaks the in the container of ourselves, and is a deep socially conditioned program that the masses have been operating within for thousands of years. It’s important to bring patience and gentleness to the process of reformatting the program to express through this new operating system, while at the same time being committed and diligent to the practice of awareness needed to create the shifts from within.
Writing Exercise: Ask yourself, and write both the questions here and the answers that arise in your mind in response to them. First, name the need or desire. How do you feel about this conflict, or lack, or desiring at this time? Then ask yourself, how is it you want to feel about this topic? Now ask yourself – what is it about this external subject, what qualifies them or it, that makes you feel like he/she/it is the source of fulfillment of this need?
Meditation Exercise: Give 10-20 minutes for this reflective experience. Close your eyes, let go of attention on this external subject, direct your attention to your inner self, and imagine that this need is completely fulfilled right now. The mind can be free from any thoughts that arise around how the need is fulfilled, and rest completely in the feeling of that fulfillment. What does it feel like for this need to be taken care of? How would you feel in your body if so? How would you move through your day if so? How would you relate to others if it is so? How would you relate to yourself if it is so? How might you even breathe differently, or your facial expression be more relaxed and content? Would you laugh more? Would you smile at strangers more, and be more generous with your resources to help others? Practice with this everyday or at least every other day, for 2 weeks, and experiment for yourself it’s effects.
Chances are, that if this is practiced consistently, or even just once can be effective enough, to give you the experience of creating from within, the feeling of your need being met, and of how the feeling of that need being met allows you to live a more easeful life. If you find this to be so, you can then reflect on this – you were able to generate these feelings on your own, without the external subject being present in your experience. One might respond, “Well just because I have the feeling doesn’t mean that the need is actually met in reality.”
True, the physical manifestation of that need being met may not appear out of thin air in an instant response to that feeling being generated from within. However, that feeling is an essential ingredient in the process of manifestation. It may take some time to fully embody and be reflected in the outer world, or it can happen tomorrow – you never know, the world works in mysterious and fantastic ways.
I think we’ve all had the experience at least once in our lives, where the very thing we were just thinking of presents itself within moments or just a day later. We are far more powerfully creative than we have been conditioned to believe. The process of awakening is about peeling back these layers of conditioning to reveal to ourselves our true nature as worthy whole complete divine creators, perfect just as we are. The imperfections we identify with about ourselves and others are rooted in our experiences and stories and perceptions, which are limited and twisted versions of our true selves.
Subtle shifts in our perceptions can open vastly different points of view, just as the almost imperceptible adjustments to a yoga posture can completely change the way we can experience that posture. Explore, develop, and refine, the mudra of the mind that will allow for an empowered perception that puts you in control of your needs and your life.