The stories we tell ourselves are incredibly powerful influences that guide our choices in relationship to others. Through the language we use, we can create new stories in relationships to identify with. This can free those involved from previously burdensome identities formed in stories of pain, and can allow for healing beyond those previous experiences.
But how does one create a new story to relate to? Well, chances are, that the stories one has in their mind, created out of their perception, is just one piece of the bigger picture. Chances are, that there is far more to a person or situation than one is putting their attention on.
Choosing to widen one’s perception in order to take in more of the other requires a detachment from the original POV which cause some kind of held charge – typically out of judgement and pain.
Use the power of language to help oneself and others evolve from a story of pain into a story of love. How we speak creates containers (outcomes) for both our own reality and others.
What is the story that is desiring to be lived now? Help create new stories for joy, connection, and transformation, by the power of language.
When speaking to others outside the relationship, it’s ok to acknowledge the lack of skillset and awareness in another if it’s needed in order to understand it more, yet refrain from indulging in gossip. Gossip is extremely toxic and destroys connections, even communities.
For people who want to be in relationship yet are confronted by a story of pain in doing so, creating new stories that can accommodate the POV of each person, allows everyone to be free and creates cohesion through compassion and forgiveness.
If people want to be connected they also need to make the efforts to show up and do what’s needed to make that known and be available for the connection. Humility and honesty are required to make this kind of repair work.
Compassion. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Compromise. Compassion. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Compromise. Compassion. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Compromise. And let it go.
Is it fair to keep one another in the prison of our personal judgements towards each other? Is it fair for anyone to perpetuate stories of discord from the past? Who is in the right to be so above another?
We each carry the light of our own virtue and we also carry the darkness of our own vice. People tend to carry the blinders to their own weaknesses, yet will be quick to shine the light of their virtue in another’s direction, as to highlight their weakness.
Be kind. Be gentle. If kindness is not able to be expressed in one moment, then give it some time for the negative charge to dissolve into the temple of the radiant heart, and then move from there.
If we want to create a new story for our closest relationships, and the world at large, we must start with the relationship we have with ourselves. At this point in our collective existence, peace is a work of heart, it takes a great effort to truly meet each other in this way.
Kindness can easily be mistaken for weakness, however, in truth it requires far greater strength to be kind in the face of pain. As with any skill, once practiced over time, it becomes part of one’s nature.
Tend the inner garden to cultivate peace, and enjoy the fruits of that great effort in a community pot-luck – the whole world is invited! Now that’s a great story!
Here’s a couple more blogs I’ve written that you may also enjoy: