Romance can fit into most days. Sure, there’s days when there’s no spare moment to give to romance, however I feel optimistic that it is in most people’s power to create 5 minutes each day to create a romantic moment with their beloved. It’s a misconception that people have in mind to think that they need hours to devote to an experience of romance. And sure, hours devoted to romance is wonderful! Yes, please! And true, I think many people don’t have hours each week to do so, especially couples with families, careers, and homes to manage.
Though, if people keep waiting for that window of hours to open for them to share and enjoy a romantic experience together, they may be waiting weeks, months, even years before the opportunity arises. Meanwhile, each part of the couple, especially for the women, is longing for that kind of dropped-in, high quality time with their beloved, that is focused 100% on them connecting, outside of love-making. While love-making can be romantic, the kind of romance I’m talking about here is outside of love-making; activities of romance that will be fuel for the fires of love-making when that time comes (which again will be really supportive to a woman’s well of sexual energy she has available to share with her partner).
It’s easy to tell ourselves stories of why we don’t have enough time for the things in life that are really important for ourselves. Eating right, exercising, self care and leisure time, connecting with loved ones, play and adventure. We justify to ourselves all too easily why we can’t be living the life we want to live. Often times it’s because there’s certain addictions we have holding us in place and keeping us from moving forward. Addictions reach far beyond substances. Foods, lifestyle choices, habits of any kind can be addictive – patterns of behavior that don’t actually serve our needs and true desires, yet are in control of our actions and choices. What activity each day can be let go of or adjusted to make 5 minutes available to share a meaningful moment with one’s beloved?
You may be curious to ask, “What kind of romance can possibly fit into 5 minutes?” I’ll give a list of examples that come to mind for me. Feel free to add any of these to your own repertoire, or let them inspire you to create your own (and please let me know what you come up with!). Think of it as creating a ritual of romance to enjoy together each day. While it isn’t a huge experience, the daily consistent practice and enjoyment will feed your hearts and souls in such beautiful ways, and it will create consistency of meaningful ways to connect, which will keep the romance alive and dynamic.
- Trade massage. One day you give to your partner for 5 minutes, and the next day you switch, and so on. As your massaging share about your days and how your feeling, what your highlights are or what your challenges are.
- Do the same kind of sharing as above, while you’re lying down in each other’s arms, staring into each other’s eyes.
- Do the same kind of sharing above, while you’re lying in each other’s arms and petting each other on the hips or back, or the face or hair.
- Meditate together while eye gazing.
- Sit in stillness together while eye gazing, and sharing words of affection for each other, while holding hands.
- Do a dance for each other, or share a piece of poetry, or a piece of writing that feels meaningful to you, or a song.
- Before you go to bed each night share what it is you appreciate about each other and the love that you are enjoying between you.
- Give 5 minutes out of the day towards an act of service in support of the other. While you may think this is not directly romantic, what it does is actually free up the other and allow them to have more time for you and a shared experience of connection.
- Send an email with a positive message for the day, or an article of some kind that you think the other will enjoy.
- Write a little love note expressing your love and care and adoration for the other and leave it somewhere they will discover it unexpectedly at another time.
- Buy a single rose, or any flower, or little token of affection, and set it next to your beloved’s desk or bedside.
- Feed each other a sweet treat after dinner.
- Make a plan for a special date soon, just the two of you.
So here’s some examples of some very simple things that can at least happen three times each week, I think, for most people. With this kind of consistency, the romantic connection stays alive and nourishing to the couple, and gives them even more strength and support to meet the demands of their days, knowing that they will have their special 5 minutes together as a constant grounding point for their love to be expressed.
Especially for couples maintaining a lot with family and careers and home life, it’s important to have designated time that the couple gets to enjoy, outside of the logistical aspects of all they are managing together. Over the long term, this kind of sweet dedication will take their connection so much farther and be greatly more fulfilling, adding such high level positivity to their love-making and intimacy.
Treat your love shared as if it’s an art project between you, that you are committed to tending to each day, even if it’s just 5 minutes. Can you imagine what a masterpiece of love it would create over time? Small steps create huge changes. Know and empower yourself with this awareness, and try on some ideas within this kind of model and see how it works for you and your beloved. Create it in a way that works for you both, and know that it’s ok if each day looks slightly different. The key is intention and consistency. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Keep it simple and just have fun with it. Experiment with this suggestion and see for yourself how it works in the development of your love together. And let me know how it works for you!