Heartbreak Transformation Blog

heartbreak transformation blog

Heartbreaks are one of the most painful, intense, brutal parts of life.  There’s so many layers, so many tender points, and all kinds of challenging feelings.  The more enmeshed the couple is, the more intense the pain can be, and the more layers there are to unravel and make peace with.

Heartbreak affects us emotionally, mentally, physically, and possibly in areas of life having to do with foundation, family, and community. It’s a lot, to say the least, and it’s a healing process that requires time and a lot of support.  Heartbreak has got to be the most painful emotional experience, next to death of a loved one.

Gratitude to all that have been the heartbreakers, and for all the times we have played that role for others. It really is a sacred service of the soul.

How do we deal with all of the many challenging feelings in a way that is healthy, productive, empowering, and leads us into the most optimal rebirthing experience possible, so we may progress in our lives into being an even better stronger more effective conscious creators?  How do we do all of this AND allow for the natural and necessary feelings and process to run its course?

Relationships are our sacred soul mirrors, reflecting to us through their love and pain. They offer us opportunities of awakening, growth, healing, transformation, empowerment, and so much more.

Human connection and dynamics are incredibly nuanced. So many factors influence a single moment of experience with another. Let alone an entire relationship, and it’s ending in a breakup.

When we don’t heal properly from heartbreak, it can leave emotional and psychological scars that not only can negatively affect us throughout our life, it can also negatively affect our future relationships, and potentially our health.

Heartbreak is a massive transformative process, and it requires our attention and care to support our journey through it, so that we may benefit from the gifts of rebirth that are on the other side of it.

Through this pain, the one heartbroken is offered a new path forward of even greater success in life and love than what they were going to reach with that previous person. Turns out, the heartbreaker was only meant to reveal that path ahead, they weren’t meant to journey on it with the one they once called beloved.

These offerings available through the heartbreak are not an easy given. To receive them does require intentional work to unlock the blocks and reveal the tangled threads that lead to these greater personal rewards.

However, doing this work while the heartbreak is fresh is such a vital time to engage in the transformation available, that will help heal from the heartbreak, clear the path ahead without any baggage of the past, and also even open up doors of deeper personal, karmic, even ancestral healing that may be available.  This is what opens the path for healing spiritually from a broken heart.

Unprocessed pain and trauma can cause energetic, physical imbalances, even illnesses, and in general be a major block in living a happy healthy life.  The unprocessed emotions become sticky and wedge themselves into our bodies.  Often times this happens because they simply aren’t given the time they need to heal, resolve, and release.

It’s understandable, given the busy lives people are living, and also that most people haven’t learned the skills for deep healing.  For most, it’s already a maxed out full time job to manage the normal daily life, let alone healing from a heartbreak.

However, these kinds of life experiences really do need us to adjust our daily rhythm to accommodate its healing and completion, if we are wanting to be truly be free and clear of it moving forward, and leaving the relationship behind.

Do this work as soon as possible, while it’s fresh.  Otherwise the longer one waits the harder it will be to access all these very tender, raw, hurt, broken pieces.  Doing this work asap will help clear the energy so it doesn’t get lodged inside the body/mind and create future problems and a lower quality of health and happiness in life.  It’s also important to recognize that this is a process, and it may take several weeks, months, or even years to complete it.

It may be the worst pain of your life, however with commitment to your healing, self-growth, and your needs, you will make it through, and become an even stronger, more self-aware, clear, effective conscious creator of your life.  You will also align yourself with manifesting the quality of love you know you deserve.

Here’s a list of my tips for turning the traumatic experience of heartbreak into an empowering transformative rebirth:

  • Radical self-care, meaning approaching the healing process from multiple angles
  • Humility to see all the ways one has contributed to the outcome created. Our power is within owing all the ways we were powerful in co-creating the outcome experienced.  If we don’t own our part, we are telling ourselves we didn’t have power in creating that outcome, and therefore we don’t have power in healing from it and doing something different in the future.  Using it as an opportunity to get even more real, more honest, more intimate with oneself.
  • Self-control, do not compromise your character by ways of being that intend pain or suffering for the other person in any way
  • Cultivate genuine kindness, compassion, respect, and forgiveness for the other. Acknowledge their souls journey, the way you are a sacred mirror for them through this experience, as they are to you.  See that there is no “greater or lesser than”, there is only learning, and everyone doing their best, even though sometimes their best really sucks and isn’t good enough.
  • Respect the other and the connection by giving as much time and space as is needed for all the processing and healing between you. Be generous with your time and heart (prioritizing your needs first), even if there’s so much pain and betrayal, to let everyone speak their truth.  Hold space for each other’s sacred journey and sharing, receive all reflections available that can possible help you learn and grow.  Although this part is super painful it is also incredibly supportive to each person’s healing journey to do so, and supports the optimal completion and closure.  If needed and available, seek out a mediator.
  • Examine yourself closely.  What are you taking forward and what are you leaving behind?  Where do you need to be even more self-aware, intuitive, discerning, honest, vulnerable, mature, responsible?  Where do you need to be even more devoted to tending and creating in yourself and in your life?
  • Healing, counseling, therapy, coaching, guidance, divination, ritual, seek out professional help.
  • Address the deeper personal unprocessed wounds and traumas that influenced your part in creating this outcome. Most people (like, pretty much all of us) have childhoods that were either traumatic or created inaccurate perceptions of ourselves in some way, even if just energetic, that greatly influence our patterns of relationships and emotional triggers.
  • Productive and creative outlets to channel attention and energy into, be productive in an area of life where you have control over, and especially need to be progressing in.
  • Receive the care, comfort, and support of loved ones.
  • Consume content that makes you laugh and feel connected to positive aspects of living.
  • Get connected to the fun and playful side of yourself again.

After over 20 years working in holistic wellness and spiritual arts, and living a very alternative lifestyle that has required me to be incredibly self-sufficient, self-resourced, very comfortable in the unknown, and having also prioritized daily spiritual and self-development practice along the way, I have a very stocked and effective tool-belt of navigating this wild journey of life.  I also have had 7 very successful healthy intimate relationships, ranging from 6 months-14 years, all of them ending in breakup’s that were done with respect and honoring, even within all the pain.

In 2021 I went through the hardest breakup of my life so far, as I thought he was the man I was going to marry, and that feeling was a first for me.  I was 100% invested and trusted in him, and so this pain is super deep.  I’m on the other side of this process, and understand how multi-faceted it is, how challenging and heart-wrenching it is.

I have tons of self-love, self-help, self-healing tools and knowledge. I want to share these tools with others who may also find them helpful in this potent process of rebirth through heartbreak.  I love to help people live healthier happier empowered lives through self-love and shared-love.

The Soul Warriors Guide to Heartbreak Transformation (one of my services) offers 1:1 support for navigating this devastating experience in a way that can mine the treasures through the wreckage that are available to serve a persons soul growth journey, and assist in the most optimal rebirth process possible.

This is deep work, as it will reach back into childhood and ancestral imprints that have been inherited, as well as previous relationship patterns.  The Soul Warrior accepts their mission of healing, transforming, and transmuting these shadow imprints into their light-side compliments, and in doing so, empowers themselves to be even more effective conscious creators of their life and love moving forward.

This work is for people seeing the break-up as an opportunity to engage in their shadow work, to transform old outdated patterns, and see themselves in a new light that will support them in moving forward in their process of personal transformation, rebuilding their life path, and eventually into creating a new and healthier connection of love with another.

If you are interested to learn more about my healing/coaching service, Heartbreak Transformation, please feel free to sign up for a free 3o min call to learn more about how I may be able to support you through this transition. 


Heartbreak Transformation Monthly WEBINAR

Webinar Structure:

  • Open the circle
  • Guided grounding mediation
  • Kelley’s heartbreak healing insights and guidance
  • Writing prompts to support healing reflections
  • Open sharing & reclaim power
  • Guided meditation for compassion and forgiveness
  • Close the circle

Webinar Benefits:

  • Intentional heartbreak healing container
  • Receive Kelley’s professional guidance and personal insights for transforming the pain into pleasure
  • Body/mind/soul healing
  • Be part of a community on the heartbreak healing journey
  • Learn tools to reclaim your power and be in alignment with your purpose
  • Create compassionate closure
  • A “think tank” for envisioning the new path ahead
  • Heal the inner child
  • Transform ancestral imprints
  • Mine the treasures of wisdom for future relationships

Here are 3 more blog posts I’ve written that may be helpful, supportive, or inspiring to your journey of healing spiritually from a broken heart:


Life’s Challenges – Unexpected Chaos is Our Friend

Mindful Use of Language to Create Desired Relationships

Happy heart-healing blessings to the brokenhearted!