The heart has no boundaries, and the mind is master of limitations. Mind creates the container for heart to fill, otherwise with no mind heart would lack a container to exist in, and its energy would scatter, creating leaks and exhaustion. Mind protects heart, and it can also repress heart. The heart is a source of energy, mind creates the channel for it to flow through, either to within ourselves or outward to another.
Many factors influence the mind, and to each their own. Each one’s truth must be able to create within the mind which boundaries are most appropriate for their hearts source energy, or else a personal dishonesty with ensue and cause suffering for that person, and for any other connection they are sharing with another person. Every person has their own gauge of appropriate boundaries to mirror their truth, which can change from time to time, and the allowing of that process of change is important for one’s own personal growth and becoming, as well as within context of another relationship, outside the self.
It takes great courage and strength to honor one’s truth, especially in regards to romantic relationships. It also requires great strength and courage to listen and receive the changing truth of one’s partner, into new and perhaps scary or seemingly threatening directions. Many relationships have an expectation that the boundaries they begin with are the same boundaries they need to express through for the duration of the connection – even if it’s for a lifetime. In my experience and observation, this unrealistic, yet agreed upon limitation between couples leads to an eventual point of conflict, where one or both people are needing an adjustment to their boundaries so that their own hearts as individuals can continue to be nourished, fulfilled, and develop.
If this is able to happen within the context of relationship, I believe it will create new channels of love that are even stronger, more alive, more expansive that will feed the connection with a strong flow of sustainable energy to carry it forward in it’s journey. Love is a journey, and like most journeys, it has its high points of ecstasy and its low points of despair. Connection to one’s personal truth will be the anchor within when the emotional waters surrounding are turbulent. Loving kindness, compassion, vulnerability, patience, diligence, forgiveness, gentleness, honesty, and a fierce commitment to face one’s shadows are required and serve as a compass for a couple to navigate adjusting to new boundaries within their connection.
It is no easy feat at times, yet love is not meant to be easy all the time. Such is life, and love between couples is life condensed, shared, and co-created. Sometimes love is about walking through the fires of transformation together and enduring that burning heat. Through intense heat and pressure a deep piece of earths carbon-based sediment transforms into a diamond, and through the right shaping and polishing, that diamond can embody a luminous sparkle that helps to decorate the world with it’s beauty.